LADIES JOKES:

Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make man before woman?
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Why is a man's pee yellow and their sperm is white ?
So they can tell if they're coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.

HIM: "Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?"
HER: "Because you're never home when it happens." (ha,ha)

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.

Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
A: They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play
with them the most.

Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because they won't stop to ask directions.

The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you done? "
Three words women hate to hear when having sex... "Honey, I'm home!"

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute

One sperm says to the other, "How far is it to the ovaries?"
The other one says,"Relax. We just passed the tonsils."

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.

Q: What's the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It only took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.